Down The Rabbit Hole

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alternate title: Obsessive Clicking Disorder

Whether it’s looking something up on wikipedia, tv tropes, youtube, <whatever> wikia (or anything that isn’t entirely self-contained, really), I am utterly incapable of sticking to task. I mean, I do learn about what inspired me to head there in the first place, but then the next several hours are a wash in terms of my stated goals because I obsessively need to click on any and all other tangentially related things that might have the potential to be interesting. Yeah. It doesn’t take much. I know I’m not alone with this ‘affliction’, but it has been getting much worse lately and sewered my productivity!

I chose not to link the sources above for your own protection ^_^

I’ve got big goals, and I am working towards them, but it’s been going too darn slowly! I’ve been noting where I have been spending my time these last few weeks and, uh, it’s depressing. I’ve really been using the hours poorly. Actually, it makes me more angry than depressed. Sheesh. It’s not even like I’m doing epic gaming sessions! Nope. Just clicking on every freakin’ link on the internet >.<

I can fix this!

I’ve gotta fix this or I’m just going to keep on in circles like I have for the last entire year. See? I’m getting angry again. Putting that energy and time into specific goals will make me feel better, too. Despite what people emailing me think, I do miss doing OpenAlpha! I keep half-starting and then stopping because I can’t make the show the way it is in my head. I’ve got neither the production nor editing skills to make it pretty. I know that this didn’t stop people from enjoying the show before, but the stakes have since been raised through the years. Whether your expectations have changed or not, I know mine have.

Since I live far, far, far away from most of my dearest friends, I spend a zillion hours chatting and following them around online. Humanity needs to make with the teleporters already. I’m willing to settle for affordable air travel in the meantime, but not holding my breath. I am very OCD about reading the 450+ people I follow on twitter. I seriously read almost every single tweet and link they post. It’s a serious timesink. I understand how people get all obsessive about facebook and google+ in the same fashion. I’ll be better served by not ignoring those other two services and all of them a little bit instead of just one of them every single hour of the day. It nothing else, it’ll cut down on eyestrain!

Just that switch alone will leave me more time for gaming, which means I’ll have stuff I’ll want to write about! When I’m happy with my gaming and writing, it makes me excited about stuff and that makes me want to film! It’s a great cycle when it’s working.

The start of 2012 has been a mix of rocky & awesome, and the rest of March is no less up & down.

F1 starts this weekend.
Yay!
How am I going to watch a live feed without commercials?
Boo.
I’m moving!
Yay?
Where will I move to?
Mega Boo.
There are so many great games to play!
Yay!
Oh god, how can I make the time?
Boo.
It’s time to think of a sport to play for the summer!
Yay!
Ffff. I have no idea what to play or how to afford it.
Boo.

And I want to write more and film way more and see more movies and be outside whenever possible and get back to drawing and learn languages and and and and and……..

I’ve not been posting while I try to work out the answers to those questions, but then my sites just look like I’m ignoring them and that’s not true! I think about them for most of my day, but then get stuck about the best way to proceed and nothing happens.

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

- Mark Twain

That’s where I’m at right now. Breaking down all that I want to accomplish into smaller tasks, each with deadlines and, in theory, avoiding crunch. The rest of March is going to be messy, but necessary to lay the groundwork for the best summer I can make! I’m really excited to do something like the July Experiment again with all I learned the last time around. Man, that was 2009?? It really doesn’t feel that long ago. My lack of any concrete sense of time is really kicking me in the teeth this year. Anyway, forward!!!

5 thoughts on “Down The Rabbit Hole

  1. I chose not to link the sources above for your own protection ^_^

    She’s not kidding, folks.

    Yay for July Experiment redux! Loved that so much. I should do that with blog posts…something every day for a month. No way I have the discipline for it.

  2. Alan Ralph

    This is why I stopped using Twitter in mid-2009 – it was sucking up too much of my time!

    Mind you, there are other sites that can easily swallow up my free time if I let them – especially deviantART or 500px. :P I did a bit of a social media detox at the end of last year, closing down a load of accounts in the process, and also cutting down on the numbers of people and pages that I follow. It has mostly worked, as I’m now able to keep in touch with close friends a LOT better.

    I’ve also been making good use of my iPad to deal with personal email and blog reading during the work week, which has helped to keep things to a more manageable level. That said, I’ve also adjusted how I get blog updates, in some cases moving from RSS feeds in Google Reader to daily or weekly email updates, in order to reduce my room for procrastination.

    Hang in there Jenn! You can do it! :)

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