My dear friend Troy Goodfellow sent me a rant from Allison Boyer at bingegamer.net earlier with the note “The comments are why I hate the internet”. No foolin’. Even though absolutely nothing new was said it did get me thinking about why these types of articles always bring out the same reaction. From ‘suck it up, buttercup’ to ‘stop sucking’, there’s never any resolution to the situation at hand. I don’t really have one, either, but I would like to present a view as a girl coming from a slightly different perspective.

Back on July 8th I went off on my own tangent about Xbox Live experiences in Ghostbusters and, for more of where I’m coming from, here’s the breakdown of my mic usage on Xbox Live:

10% of the time I don’t use a mic since I have nothing to say
50% of the time I don’t use a mic because the default 360 headset crushes my skull
25% of the time I use a mic when playing with friends, despite the pain, because I love them
15% of the time I use a mic with the general populace with no friends present

I don’t hide the fact that I am a girl online. The gamertag LadyGuardian is a pretty clear sign that I’m female. Sometimes it feels like I’ve been on the receiving end of more sexist, vulgar, immature, and racist comments in a single evening than I endured in a lifetime of playing boys’ hockey. It’s hard not to see it as anything other than comical but real abuse does happen and should not be ignored. Just about everyone on the internet is likely familiar with the Penny Arcade strip, Green Blackboards (And Other Anomalies), about what anonymity does to people on the internet. This may be far from the ideal but it is not like women are the only injured parties in this scenario. Let’s take a look at some of the more common triggers for rude and abusive behaviour on Live:

Do you suck? You will be ridden and beaten like a rented mule until you quit the game/server/internet in exasperation and tears. It’s not like guys are particularly civil to other guys online, either. These confrontations are rarely sexual in nature but there’s no vast conspiracy to drive all women from console or PC games. If there is one they are doing a particularly poor job of it!

Do you have an accent? Good grief. I had to look up all these terms people were tossing around since my racist vocabulary is blessedly small.

Do you refuse to bow to the self-appointed God’s gift to gaming? You know exactly who I mean. They’re man or woman that orders you around as if you exist solely for their amusement. They clearly feel that their team would be unbeatable if we would just bow to their awe-inspiring knowledge and ignore the fact they are so busy yelling at people that they forget they are holding a controller. Playing with someone exceptionally skilled can be great learning experience, even if they are a jerk. From watching these players, through a killcam or as a teammate, I learned how useful the slime tether could be in Ghostbusters and found amazing sniping hideouts in Modern Warfare 2. In a perfect world these people would be vocal and polite, but I’ll take useful tips wherever I find them.

Do you happen to be a girl? Vaginas are not exactly rare on the internet but the presence of a live girl seems to reduce some people to drooling morons. Note that this behaviour occurs in real life, too, so this cannot be deemed an exclusively online behaviour.

Falling into any of the above categories, and many others that I have neglected to mention, should not automatically make you a target. However, until we all increase the level of civility during these interactions or develop the ability to punch offenders through our cable connections, that’s the way it is. I also scramble to mute young girls who might not mean to but end up screeching into their microphone so loud during a battle that I worry my windows will shatter along with my eardrums. While it’s great to see them online in greater numbers, hopefully with their parents’ knowledge and watchful eyes and ears nearby (this is not how I recommend children learn new words), zomgloud.

Real abuse does happen and, thankfully, there are tools to deal with that. They are not immediate. They are not satisfying. Nonetheless, they need to be used whenever these incidents occur so that Microsoft deals with the offender in an appropriate manner after a proper review. In the meantime, much like the Live Support documentation already suggests, mute the bugger. Give them a negative review. Get out the banhammer and kick them from your game, if you are hosting and have such options available. Even though headshotting them and camping their spawn point — or ramming their car into the wall or shadowing their player on the ice so they never get the puck and so on and so forth — may help you get out some of the immediate rage, certainly, I highly recommend booting them after that’s out of your system. The fact that they generally acting like a prick means that getting rid of them makes everyone’s game time more enjoyable. Isn’t that what it’s all about? I’m really over the whole thing. Please don’t count this attitude as indifference, but I’m simply not going to let these people ruin my good time.

Take a stand, use the tools at your disposal, and have fun!