Full Disclosure: The following incident actually involved a Clementine. I just wanted to use this title. The alternate and equally incorrect title is “Mandarin Surprise”. ‘Cause I was surprised by a mandarin ricocheting off my face, see. I really can’t tell the difference between the varieties and this only further increases my hatred for all orange and orange-related products. Orange? Ick. Orange juice? Vile. Orange chocolate? A crime against chocolate. Except for pop. Orange Crush rules.
I’m resting by the fireplace at my parents’ place watching 30 Rock. My brother is heading for the fridge and I asked for an orange pop. He was all disappointed since he wanted to toss me a mandarin. I said, “Hey, why not? I’ll take both.” Barely are the words out of my mouth when my brother PITCHES a mandarin at warpspeed that smacks off of my left cheek and then splatters all over the stone fireplace on impact. I thought this was the funniest thing ever and started laughing hysterically. He felt soooooooooooooo bad. I had gotten a hand up to partially deflect it, which was why it hit the far side of my face, but not soon enough to catch it. It still would have been crushed but my face would have been spared.
After I had a chance to breathe he gave me the pop (blissfully not as a projectile) and I discretely used it as an ice pack for a while. After the show I went to a mirror to check on my face and I was bleeding! This was not and is not a gushing wound by any account. I cleaned it up and disinfected it, just in case, and went to the door to see my bro off for his exams. The second he is gone I start laughing again. My Dad wonders what the heck is going on now since he had already witnessed the awesome major league fastball from the far end of the kitchen to the far end of the family room. I showed him the cut, which had started bleeding again, and how he was not to tell my brother about any of this until after his exams. He felt bad enough already and had lots of other stuff on his mind. It’ll be fun when he comes back so I can tease him about this and say that we are even for all the times I blew us up in Borderlands. And then we will play more Borderlands. A Happy Holiday for all! :)
Now, several days after the impact, you can barely see the cut unless you know exactly what you are looking for and where. Woo.
{ 5 comments }
Heheh LoL, Never tought you can realy get hurt by that. Another cool Orange thing is the Orange Box for the Xbox 360 :)
So your Mad Ninja Blocking Skillz from all those years of gaming finally paid off!
Glad you came out pretty much unscathed! Tell him to aim at anything but your cute face!
Um, yay? Glad to hear that you spared the majority of your face and that you decided not to make your brother feel guilty about it before exams. Of course, he’ll have to return.. to more Borderlands!
You realize that the next step is dramatic escalation in the arms race. I suggest a pineapple.
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